Subtle Ways You Might Be Masking your ADHD Without Realizing
What is Masking?
Masking is when you suppress or hide your ADHD in order to appear more neurotypical and fit in. This is something we may do consciously or subconsciously. Masking is talked about most often in relation to autism, but ADHDers can mask their traits, too!
Is it Wrong to Mask?
Masking is complicated, and nuanced. For people with intersectional identifies, masking can be essential for safety (physical, emotional, and financial). A Black person who is struggling with executive dysfunction may not be perceived the same as a white person experiencing the same challenges. Is it right? Of course not! but it is the unfortunate reality of the current society we live in.
The biggest downside to masking is the toll it takes on us, and this is why so many people are drawn to "unmasking" (which is essentially just living more aligned with your authentic self). Masking comes at a cost to your energy, which leads to burnout and that's not easy.
You are the only one who can decide if it feels right for you. Regardless, understanding and identifying when and how we are masking can help increase awareness around our neurodivergence. And if you choose to start unmasking, it's an important step!
So here are eight subtle ways you might be masking your ADHD without realizing.
Subtle Ways you Might Mask ADHD Traits
Neat on the outside, chaos on the inside
When guests come over, they comment on how nice and organized everything is. You smile and say "thanks" knowing full well you shoveled everything into tote bags that you moved into your bedroom, and the storage closet is busting at the seams.
Staying quiet in groups
You are absolutely terrified of impulsively blurting something out that you can't take back, or cutting someone off, so instead you opt to say nothing. You'd rather people think you're "the quiet one" rather than "the rude one".
Rechecking that you haven't forgotten things
You're so nervous that you've forgotten to bring something with you, so you keep checking it's in your bag before you go (and check again because you forgot you already checked, and then again just to be super sure).
Having systems for everything
You have a system to make sure you leave the house on time and with everything, a system to make sure you brush your teeth, remembering to drink water, basically anything short of breathing.
Consistently working late
To compensate for the lost time during the day where you were distracted, zoning out, or struggling to get started. You feel like you need to maintain your output so no one notices, or just to feel like you've been "productive enough" so you put in overtime, all the time.
Suppressing emotions and need to fidget
You try and brush it off as "no big deal" in the moment, but overtime it really takes it's toll. It's just one of those many things that contributes to you feeling drained and irritable at the end of the day. You've been bottling up all that hyperactivity and strong feelings, it's bound to burst at some point.
Arriving wayyy too early
Your appointment isn't until 2pm, but you got there at noon. You know if you weren't extremely early, you'd be late. There is just simply no in between.
Perfectionist tendencies
Perfectionism is one of the coping mechanisms people with ADHD adopt to prevent their RSD getting triggered. If everything you do is 100% perfect, 100% of the time then no one will ever have anything bad to say... right?
You know it's not sustainable
If you're tired of masking your ADHD and ready to truly start living a better life alongside your ADHD, let's chat! As an ADHD coach I'll help you find personalized strategies that are supportive so you can actually thrive (instead of just pretending like you are).
Start with a free, no pressure discovery call. It's just a super casual chat to see how I could help you and if we're a good fit!
